CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My feet surprised me
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