I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I smell stomach acid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize