he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
