I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
should my penis look like a turkey
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
