you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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