Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
