Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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