we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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