I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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