im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
