dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
