there was a trapeze. enough said
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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