HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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