shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
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At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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