He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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