His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
