if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
