you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
