Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
