i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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