the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
