I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
