hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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