Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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