"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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