i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
40s are totally the cure
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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