I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
