I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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