Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
