I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
