He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
send nudes
from the living room?
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