Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my farts smell like vagina
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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