i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
