when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
