Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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