Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
How's work?
Spinning.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
