My Higher Power is John Stamos
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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