I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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