5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
