Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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