after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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