Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
