Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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