i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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