I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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