The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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