i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
