Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
