Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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