Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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