Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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