I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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