I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize