True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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