And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
