great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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