I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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